I have been back in therapy for five weeks now, and once again, I’m bloody nailing it. I am Da Best at therapy.

I’ve been struggling with the ole BPD a lot recently. I’ve been hella unstable, and my anxiety has been through the roof. Recognising that I’m Going Through It, and having already bleached and cut my hair, the obvious solution was to go back to therapy. It’s been… four years? since my last session, and although I was able to recognise symptoms and shit bits, I wasn’t able to really cope with them, or figure out what I needed to do to get myself through it. I was feeling anxious because this was a new therapist I would be talking to, and doing over Zoom, so like, worried about internet issues etc.

But ya know what? I got through it, and remembered that it wasn’t as hard as I thought it would be. It was just like riding a bike. A big ole anxiety ridden bike, with wheels made of sadness, and a saddle of intense mood swings. With the help of my lovely new therapist, I’ve been able to get a handle(bars) on certain triggers, and how to (cruise)control my moods a bit better. Also, I’ve learned how to do hilarious analogies.

I’ve got another five sessions to go, and then I will obviously be fully cured and the most well-together person that ever existed. My anxiety has stayed in the “moderately severe” category, so still work to be done there, but the good news is that my depression has gone down to mild. Mild! Mild depression!! Look at that!! I’m basically happy!

It’s been really helpful talking to someone, and formulating a plan/learning techniques and coping mechanisms to implement when things are getting too much. Although it has been harder to actually implement them in the moment, rather than be like “oh, THAT’S what I should have done!” four hours later, but ya know, baby steps.

Anyway. I am great at therapy.